


Welcome to My Life

by Immortal_Magic_Freak



Category: Death Note
Genre: Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8572792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortal_Magic_Freak/pseuds/Immortal_Magic_Freak
Summary: L has never told anyone his story. He never had to. But, when Light asks, L decides he deserves to know. L tells him how he met the boys - Mello, Matt and Near; how each of them came to live at the house. He also tells Light how he came to live at the house. None of their situations were ideal... The question is: how will Light react? Was L right to worry? (AU - Light was not Kira)





	1. The Question

**Author's Note:**

> Authors Note: HEYO! XD Please tell me what you think; I would love to know XD I own nothing and no one.
> 
> JUST SO YOU KNOW: I have taken creative liberties with middle names, so please take that into consideration. Also, I've only seen the Anime and have only JUST started the Manga.
> 
> This is my FIRST Death Note fic, so I suppose you could say I'm new to the Fandom! Also, I live in England; I don't know Japanese, so any Japanese I use in this story I get from Google Translate XD
> 
> Please, please review XD
> 
> P.S. This is an AU - Light was never Kira, but still helped during the investigation; obviously, Light and L did not die; the Kira case took 1 year to clear up, not (about) 7; set in 2016. I apologise for OOCness, but it IS an AU ;)

** L **

Staying in Japan, after the Kira Case had closed, had never been in the plan. It was supposed to be: come to Japan, solve the case, go back to England... Of course, I suppose, one could never foresee how difficult it is to leave once you make a friend. Let alone how difficult it is once those feelings of friendship begin to develop.

Light had been my reason for staying in Japan.

He had been the reason for me uprooting Watari and myself. Words couldn't begin to describe how hard it had been, trying to explain the situation to the boys. Especially since Watari and I had to go _back_ to England for a short time, collecting the rest of our things and making sure Roger knew what he was doing, spending some time with the boys before we left.

People liked to think I was emotionless, that I was some kind of robot. Only a few knew the truth - Watari and the boys being a part of those few. But being viewed as emotionless was what helped me. Say, for example, that my identity was let out into the world - if people suddenly had a face to put to the name. That would be all they had. They would have nothing else. They wouldn't know who I was close to, who they could use against me to affect me the most. Being seen as something other than someone with human emotion, was what would save the people I cared about.

That was a larger number than people ever thought and, the scary thing was, that number had grown since being in Japan.

It hadn't taken long for Watari and I to move from England to Japan. I mean, we already had a place to move in too - what else would I use the Task Force Headquarters for, now the case was over? All we had to do was pack up the few things we had left and hop on the jet again. Of course I knew, this time, it wouldn't be so easy.

Watching the boys from the jet, after a long and tear filled ' _goodbye_ ', had been one of the most painful things I had ever had to do in my lifetime. The guilt at leaving them washing over me, making it that much harder for me to go to sleep... It got to a point where Watari had to place sleeping pills in my hand, just so I could rest for a couple of hours. Even though I spoke to them, almost, daily, the separation and knowing that I really had left for good, only going back to visit them whenever I could, it didn't help any...

I had come to depend on the boys - _my_ boys - much like they had Watari and me.

I had thought long and hard about bringing them with me to Japan, don't get me wrong. There was enough room, as you could imagine. The issue was the danger. I didn't know what case could come up next, or where it could take me... I didn't want them to be dragged into it, not yet anyway - not with how young they were! They were only teenagers, children... They shouldn't have to worry about whether or not they would be kidnapped, or shot at, if someone figured out who I was or that they knew me. I had even spoken through the situation with Watari, the man having the same thought trail as me. Obviously, in the end, we decided against bringing the boys with us.

Of course, that didn't mean to say, we would refuse them if they wanted to leave England and join us. If it was their decision, if they approached us about it, then that was fine. There would always be space for the three of them.

* * *

I had been living in Japan only a few months - properly I mean, without the case holding me in place. I hadn't had any major cases come my way, especially none that had grabbed my attention. Mainly, I just looked over cold cases, seeing if there was anything of interest.

Watari was in his own quarters, taking a well deserved rest - with everything he had done for me over the years, let alone during the Kira Case, he more than deserved a break. He was, most likely, reading the newest book Roger had sent him, a mug of tea resting on the table to the right of his armchair. This left me to myself.

Well, no, that was a lie. I wasn't alone.

Light was with me.

Light and I had not noticed the attraction between us at first, not until it was firmly in place on both sides. Misa had been the one to point it out - well, _scream_ would be the better word for it - exclaiming how I really was a pervert, forcing ' _her_ ' Light to ' _do icky things_ '. It was one of those moments where she just burst into the room, screeching like a Banshee, no one really understanding what she was going on about... It took a while to figure out that she thought I was ' _forcing Light to cheat on her_ '. The problem with that? First, she and Light were not together, never had been. Second, Light and I had only been friends. Once this had been pointed out to her, Misa then rambled on about all the ways Light and I acted like she and Light ' _should_ '. Apparently, she thought, I had replaced her in this imaginary relationship. From that point on, separately, Light and I began to question the issue, even going as far as to ask our respective fathers - or, in my case, father figure - if what she had said held any value.

Apparently, the entire Task Force had thought Light and I had been dating since a few weeks after we had first met. Including Light's own father...

It had taken _a lot_ of talking, and I mean _a lot_ , to settle things between us. Which is why, two months before the Kira case ended, Light and I had started a rather timid relationship. Now, four months after the Case had ended, Light and I had been together for around six months.

Light's family had been very accepting - I suppose, thinking we had been dating for longer than we had, they had all had time to digest the thought and accept it. At least, that was how Light was taking it. I just thought of it as they were good people; a loving family.

Light usually joined me when he wasn't at the university or with his family. More often than not, you could find us together. Most of the time spent with each other was spent in my new ' _home_ ', though that wasn't to say we never went out. We just preferred each other's company - no one staring at my odd habits, no questions constantly being thrown at us... We would go out on a ' _proper date_ ', as society would deem it, once every week, sometimes every two - depending on how we felt.

On this day, we were staying inside.

"How did you meet the boys?" Light had asked me, the eighteen year old resting his head on my shoulder as we sat in the living room area. "You've told me about them, you've shown me pictures, but never told me how you met them."

I knew, from experience, that Light would not push for information if I told him I would rather not speak about it. However, I also knew he deserved some answers. After a few months of dating, the boys had all given me their blessings to tell Light their stories, if I ever needed to, so asking their permission wasn't the problem... I problem was that, if I told him about them, then I would have to tell him about _me_...

Only Watari knew my story.

But Light deserved to know about me, considering how much I knew of him. But I had never opened myself up to another person before.

"Wammy's House." I told him. "It's an orphanage in Winchester, in England. Watari is the one who established it, along with several other homes."

"Orphanage?" Light asked, slowly, lifting his head.

"Yes. It was initially designed to be a training facility, of sorts, for especially gifted children. I was there from the age of eight, the boys arriving seven years later."

Light didn't say anything, just sitting up properly, shifting until he could look at me. He bit his lip, frowning slightly... I knew he wanted to ask. It was obvious he wanted to ask. He was stopping himself, because he didn't know how I would react, or if he would be overstepping some boundary by asking. So I asked for him.

"I can tell you the stories, if you would like?" I shrugged. "I'm allowed to divulge such information to you."

"Y-You trust me enough to tell me?" he stuttered, lightly.

"Of course. And the boys wouldn't say I could tell you if they didn't trust you."

"But they haven't even met me!"

"But they know how I feel about you."

Light's mouth slammed shut, his teeth clacking together. His entire demeanour turned shy, a side to him I had only recently come to know - Light didn't like people seeing him vulnerable, knowing he _could_ be vulnerable. I, of all people, could understand, which was why I had never commented on it and never would.

"I would like that..." he whispered.

"Alright. I shall start with Mello - he was the first to join me at the house." I said.


	2. Mello

**L **

"I won't pretend to know exactly what happened to Mello. All I know is what Watari and, eventually, Mello himself told me." I said to Light. "So I'll explain this to you how I came to know."

Light nodded, turning on the sofa to face me completely, crossing his legs and hugging his mug of tea to his chest. It was the position he always took whenever I would give a little bit of my past to him, not that he noticed. It was a subconscious movement, something I found rather endearing...

Shifting my feet from underneath me, I copied Light's position, facing him. I rarely ever changed my seating habit, but there were time when I deemed it acceptable. This being one of those times.

For a moment, I was silent, running through the many different ways I could start off Mello's story. It was no easy think, that was for sure. I mean, did I start with what I had been told? Did I start with Mello's behaviour when he got to the House? Where was the best place for me to start?

As I had my internal debate, Light just sat there patiently. His expression remained neutral, only moving to lift his mug to his lips. He just sat there, watching me, waiting for me to sort my head out before speaking.

It's what he always did.

Light never tried to force anything.

Taking a deep breath, I began my recount:

"I was fifteen, when Watari brought Mello to the house..."

* * *

**_Saturday, December 2nd 2006_ **

_It was a cold, dark winters day. What else do you expect from England in December? It was a miracle that it wasn't raining!_

_Many of the younger children had taken to playing outside, a number of the staff watching over them. Few stayed inside, splitting between their bedrooms and the kitchen. I was the only one that sat in the communal area, a room reminiscent of a living room. Though I was thought as the most accomplished out of the children, I was still what people would consider '_ a loner _'._ _I didn't socialise with the others, nor did I want to. I didn't_ like _people; I wasn't one to_ trust _people. Watari and Roger were the only exceptions._

 _I was thumbing through a case file, from America - not a particularly difficult case, that being the reason I didn't find it necessary to take the journey '_ across the pound _',_ _as it were. I had estimated that the case would take me, minimum, of a week - maximum of a week and a half. At that current moment, I was right on track._

_I had been working on the file for the entire day, communicating back and forth with my contact in America via email - I hadn't seen Watari for hours. I heard him say that morning that he had somewhere he needed to go; do something that required his immediate attention. He didn't need to go into any detail, it was obvious what he was doing - he was brining someone new into the house. And, with the lack of detail he gave, it was obvious the situation said child was in was a dangerous one._

_I just hoped Watari got there in time._

_It was as the thought crossed my mind that I heard the door open. Two pairs of feet, one of them Watari's, shuffled inside into the warmth. I expected Watari to heard the child into the communal area - he always introduced them to me, leaving them in the room whilst he went to get Roger._

_What I didn't expect? The child screaming and yelling._

_It was a reflex - jumping off of the sofa and running towards the door. No matter what, whenever I heard the sound of a terrified child, I always ran towards the sound. I refused to look into why..._

_The boy I found in the hallway was no older than five. His blond hair in a bob, his blue eyes wide. From head to toe, he was covered in bruises, his ripped, black clothes doing nothing to cover them from view. He was shaking, crying, hiding behind Watari as three of the other adults tried to get closer, almost trapping the boy - honestly, they were idiots!_

_Clearing my throat, I caught attention of the three idiots. All I had to do was stare at them, that being enough communication for them all to back away slowly... That seemed to be the only thing they could understand -_ _'_ L talk _', as people put it._

_The boy was clutching Watari's leg, his face turned into the man's coat... They hadn't gotten within arm's reach and he was still terrified._

Just what happened to you?

_Taking in Watari's solemn expression, I knew better than to ask questions - I would be informed later on. Instead, I made my way towards the two of them, slowly. I stopped a safe distance away from my Guardian, taking a bar of chocolate from the pocket of my jeans, crouching down how I did whenever I sat down. Making eye contact with the boy, I held out the chocolate bar, nodding for him to take it. He looked up at Watari, waiting for his ok, before he moved to take it..._

_I had never seen a child eat so quickly._

**(Small time skip)**

_It was surprisingly easy to get the boy to agree to sit with me after that, whilst Watari went to find Roger. Apparently, chocolate was the way to establish trust?_

_"I am L." I told him after a couple of minutes, the boy just staring at me. "What's your name?"_

_"Mihael Keehl." the boy whispered. "I'm five in eleven days."_

Of course I was right...

_"I don't wanna go back." Mihael whimpered, sniffling. "I don't wanna get hurt anymore..."_

_I couldn't understand why his words hurt me the way they did; why they affected me. It had never happened before... Was it because he was so young? Was it because of the pure fear in his voice? Was it because he was crying?_

_No - I had witnessed many crying and scared children in my life, it wouldn't be because of that... So why now?_

_"You won't go back." I told him, turning back to the file. "You'll be safe here."_

_"How'd you know?" he croaked._

_"Because I'm still alive."_

**(Small time skip)**

_Whilst Mihael was waiting with me, he ate a bit more - mainly chocolate bars. He told me how he was never really given much to eat. I just gave him a few more, making sure he would drink some water between every few bites._

_As time went one, he slowly inched his way towards me, not stopping until he was pressed against my side. Somehow, he even managed to wiggle his way underneath my arm, burying himself closer._

_That was when I felt him shivering, his teeth chattering._

_Trying not to move too much, I pulled the blanket off of the back of the sofa, unfolding it enough to wrap around the child, placing my arm back around his shoulders once it was in place. I tried not to put too much pressure onto him, not wanting to aggravate his bruises and hurt anymore than he already had been._

_As the boy ate and drank, I continued to work my case, going over my evidence again, using my laptop to look into my suspect. I knew who had done it, I just needed to find how he was connected him to the crime. That was always my problem, trying to convince others that,_ yes _, I was right. It always complicated things, always led to more damage - more death. They brought me into stop them but, as soon as I gave them their man, I had to prove it, which caused more... Yes, because_ that _makes sense to me._

_"What are you doing?" Mihael asked, rubbing gingerly at his bruised eye._

_"Working." I sighed._

_"But you're not old. How can you work?"_

_"When you have my intelligence, you don't have to be '_ old _' to work."_

_"What do you do?"_

_"I'm a detective."_

_As if a switch was flipped, Mihael instantly perked up. Still with my arm around his shoulders, the boy scrambled up onto his knees, leaning over me to get a good look at my laptop._

_"You catch bad guys?!" he asked, wide eyed._

_I gave the boy a single nod, watching him._

_His sudden change in mood - behaviour - was very curious indeed..._

_"That's what I wanna do when I grow up!" he stated, confidently. "Can you teach me?"_

**(Small time skip)**

_By the time Watari came back with Roger, I had made some headway with the case... I had also, somehow, started to develop some sort of bond with the child next to me. They seemed even more shocked than I felt at this, the two of them freezing the moment they stepped into the communal area and saw me with the boy._

_Unsurprisingly, as soon as Mihael caught sight of Roger, the boy reverted back to how he was when he first walked into the house. He pushed himself further into my side, disregarding what pain he felt from the bruises._

_"Mihael, this is Roger." Watari told the boy, calmly. "He runs the house when I'm away."_

_Mihael said nothing, using the blanket around him to bury himself even closer._

_The only way they got Mihael to talk was with more chocolate - and the promise that he could stay next to me. Never had I thought_ I _would be part of someone's conditions - unless they wanted me dead,_ that _I had thought of and expected._

_To be honest, I didn't listen to the conversation. I turned my attention, yet again, to the case, but I made sure to keep a part of my mind on the boy next to me. I made sure to keep a check on how he was reacting to what both Watari and Roger were saying, making sure he wouldn't start screaming again._

_I couldn't understand why I cared._

_I couldn't understand what was different about this boy, compared to all the other kids in the House..._

_What was so different?_

**(Small time skip)**

_Mihael fell asleep shortly after he spoke with Roger and Watari. He was holding onto me so tightly that I ended up having to take him to his knew room. When they had been trying to decide what room to put the boy in, it was the only time I spoke up. I told them to put him in one of the rooms opposite mine - I thought it would be easier, considering how well he had taken to me._

_As soon as I had placed him in the bed, covering him with the covers, I kept the door ajar and followed Watari to his office. It was the only place we could talk, without having to censor anything._

_Watari's office was, also, his room. It was quite large, split into two so he didn't technically '_ sleep _' in his office. When the man let me inside, I immediately jumped onto one of the chairs, biting at the nail of my left thumb as I waited._

_"I expect you have some theories?" Watari asked, walking around to the other side of his desk, sitting down with a sigh._

_"I do." I nodded. "I would prefer for you to tell me."_

_Watari nodded his head, rubbing a hand over his mouth for a second. He stared down at his desk, resting his elbows on top of the polished wood, letting the weight of the day finally settle on himself._

_"Mello was neglected by his parents. He was beaten, mentally and emotionally abused. I have been trying to intervene for some time now..." Watari told me. "Today, after many calls to many people, I was finally able to bring him into our custody."_

_"Yes, I thought that was the case." I said. "I suppose there's more?"_

_Again, Watari nodded._

_"Turning up at the house today we found Mihael's father in the living room with his drinking friends. His mother was spread out on the sofa, smoking a '_ joint _', with bruises on her face, legs and arms - I don't think I need to explain what had happened there..." Watari went on. "My contacts took care of those downstairs, whilst I went to find Mihael. He was locked in an empty room, the windows boarded up, with nothing in there by an old, broken mattress. He was covered in bruises, as you saw, shaking and crying far more than when he came into the house."_

_I didn't say anything. I just sat there, waiting for the man I thought of as my father to finish speaking. He needed to tell me, far more than I needed to know._

_"Thankfully, the boy knows me, he knew why I was there." Watari finished. "His parents will be prosecuted; he will stay here. Unfortunately, he will have to live with the memories."_


	3. Matt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing and no one apart from the following: Andrew Harrison

**L**

"Mello's had nightmares since then - even now, he still has them." I told Light. "It's been hard for him."

I had watched how, through my recount, Light's face fell. He went from smiling, hearing that I was exactly the same when I was teenager I was now, to looking like a kicked puppy the moment Mello came into it. He didn't even know Mello and this was his reaction.

Though, I suppose, anyone would feel badly when hearing about an abused child.

"H-He's better though, right?" Light whispered.

"Better wouldn't be the word I'd use. He'll never be ' _better_ '." I admitted. "It'll follow him everywhere and it'll affect every part of his life. But he's found ways to try and cope and he's dealing with it the best he can. Roger says he's ' _healing_ '."

Light nodded, his mood not improving yet not seeming as tense as he was before.

I didn't really know what to do. I was still getting used to this kind of relationship. I wasn't very good with any kind of relationship, full stop... But that was because of my own story, one that I was still debating whether or not to tell Light. I didn't want him to view me differently. I didn't want him to change his opinion of me.

Slowly, I reached out a hand, placing it on one of his lightly. He knew what I was trying to do, knew I was trying to be ' _comforting_ '. He knew I was trying.

"Who was next?" Light asked, clearing his throat, giving a weak smile.

"That would be Matt." I said. "His story is different to Mello's, however, the outcome was the same."

By different, I meant that Matt didn't have as...well, I suppose, as _bad_ as Mello. Still bad, yes, considering he was taken away from his parents, but not like Mello. Matt was always understating his own story. He would always say ' _it wasn't that bad, the other two had it worse_ '. He seemed to think that because what happened to him wasn't ' _on par_ ' with Mello and Near, it was nothing to complain about. He was forgetting that it was the worst thing to happen to _him_ so, yes, he was allowed to feel badly for it.

We were still having to remind him of this.

Sighing I began my recount:

"Watari brought Matt to the house a few months after Mello..."

* * *

_**Thursday, March 15th 2007** _

_It was a, surprisingly, nice spring day. Yes, it was a little chilly, but it wasn't anything like the winter._

_Mihael had started to settle in nicely at the house - yes, he was still adjusting, but he was doing fine. Well, I assumed he was. I wasn't entirely sure. He had nightmares, that was obvious. He was still wary around others - to be expected. He was still attached to my hip, something I was still baffled by. But he seemed...happy? I didn't know if that was the right word. I didn't know if that was right, full stop. But he didn't seem as scared as before anymore._

_The boy was now obsessed with chocolate. Apparently, that first day, when I had given him the sweet, it had been the first time he had ever tried it. He would eat a large bar every day and no one could stop him - he knew how to work the staff, able to pull at their heartstrings. He was a valuable asset when getting more cake..._

_On this day, Mihael and I were in the kitchen with Andrew Harrison - one of the few adults Watari had hired to work in the house. I still couldn't figure out how this man had ended up with the job. He was a completely idiot! He knew nothing of how our minds work! Well, he knew nothing, full stop. A monkey was more intelligent than him. I had tried many a time, along with the others in the house, to get the man to just quit already!_

_Obviously, nothing had worked._

_Harrison was blocking the doorway as Mihael sipped at the hot chocolate in front of him. Harrison had this '_ rule _' where none of us could leave the kitchen with a hot drink. He was the_ only _adult in the house with this rule. For some reason, the man thought things were spilt or, as he always labelled it,_ thrown _on purpose._

_We all hated him. Even the others that worked in the house._

_"Where's Wammy?" Mihael asked, swinging his legs as he sat in the chair._

_Mihael hadn't yet been told about Watari's alias, always calling the man by his surname. Watari and I had both understood that, for now, it was for the best - it was what he knew Watari as. Watari and I had both agreed we would let Mihael call him Wammy, as long as it wouldn't blow my guardian's cover._

_"Collecting another child." I told him, carefully building a tower out of bottle caps._

_"Another one like me?" he whispered._

_Looking towards the child, I found him stirring the warm liquid with his finger. He looked...worried. I believe that was the right emotion. He looked worried._

_"In some ways." I said, slowly. "We won't know exactly until Wammy comes back with them."_

**(Small time skip)**

_Mihael and I were still in the kitchen when the front door opened. The boy looked up at me, his eyes wide and hopeful. I felt the corner of my lips twitch slightly, something that had happened a lot since Mihael had been in the house._

_Leaping off of my seat, I watched as Mihael ran towards the kitchen door, barrelling past Harrison. He clung to the doorway, just pocking his head around the side to see who Watari was with. He didn't move until I was next to him - only then did he grab a hold of my hand, shuffling behind me as we walked towards the man and the child._

_The boy with Watari was no older than four. He had brown hair and blue eyes, wearing a red and black stripped top and blue jeans. He just stood there, playing a portable video game, Watari standing beside him with a man and a woman._

_"Would you like to say goodbye to your parents?" Watari asked the young boy, gently placing a hand on his shoulder._

_"Who?" he answered._

_I watched as the man and woman's face fell. I watched as it seemed the reality of the situation was finally setting in._

_Raising his head, the boy blinked harshly. Watari gestured towards the man and woman next to him, the young boy peering around him to look at them. The boy frowned, cocking his head to the side. He looked the man and woman up and down,_ really _looking at them and thinking._

_"Who are they?" he asked in the end._

**(Small time skip)**

_The boy, just like Mihael, was left with me as Watari went to get Roger. Watari thought it would be '_ good for me _', thinking that maybe the boy would take to me the same as Mihael had._

_I found out the boy was called Mail Jeevas - he made it clear that it was spelt: M. A. I. L; pronounced: M. I. L. E._

_I found out that he had only recently turned four - his birthday was February 1st._

_Surprisingly, Mihael and Mail seemed like the best of friends after only a few minutes. It started with Mihael subtly leaning over Mail's shoulder, watching the younger play his game, with a strange fascination. When Mail noticed, he started to shift round. Mihael grew sheepish, I though Mail was going to move away... The boy surprised us both by shuffling further towards Mihael, giving the older boy a better view of the game. Mail even detached himself long enough to let Mihael try._

_"That is so cool!" Mihael grinned._

_"I know." Mail giggled. "I've played it, like, a gazillion times!"_

_Just like that, they were friends._

_Somehow, it even got to the point where the boys got me to sit properly, both of them clambering up onto my lap._

_I did not understand children._

**(Small time skip)**

_Mail didn't pay much attention to Watari and Roger when the two appeared. He just sat with Mihael, playing the video game._

_It went without saying that Mail was going to be taking the room next to Mihael's - I think it was obvious neither boy would like being separated. That seemed to be the only thing the boys listened to. Which was why, as soon as it had been said, Mihael grabbed Mail's hand, dragging the brunet upstairs._

_The moment the boys disappeared, Roger shrugged, telling us how he was going to check on the other children._

_Watari and I, the same as when Mihael had arrived at the house, went to Watari's office. We took the same positions as that time, only this time we had some tea. Before I could even ask, the man even passed me over this small tin box - recently bought, containing a slice of chocolate cake with a strawberry on top._

_"I had it picked up this morning." he smiled, passing me a fork._

_"Thank you, Watari." I nodded, plucking the strawberry off of the cake. "I take it your day was far more pleasant this time?"_

_"You would be right. Whilst it was by no means ideal, thankfully, Mail's situation was far better that Mihael's."_

_Glancing up at my guardian, I waited for him to continue._

_I knew that these days, the days where the child wasn't in any harm, were very few between. I knew that, the majority of the time, the child was at some level of risk. It wasn't always as serious as Mihael's situation, it was almost never anywhere near as serious as what mine had been, but there was_ always _risk._

_It wasn't often a child was, relatively, safe before coming to the house._

_"Mail was, what you could call, a surprise baby." Watari explained. "His mother had no idea she was pregnant, until she was in labour, due to the way Mail was positioned."_

Nothing too surprising; it happens.

_"Mail's parents never wanted him, so they distanced from him as much as they possibly could." he continued. "They felt guilty, so they bought him that game he's so attached to."_

_"He's attached because it shows that his parents felt_ something _towards him." I mused. "Sentiment is such a strange thing..."_


	4. Near

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing and no one apart from the following: Andrew Harrison

** L **

"To this day, Matt still plays that game. He says he doesn't care, but if he didn't then he would have gotten rid of the game years ago." I told Light. "It's the only thing he has left of his parents... Even if he doesn't remember them."

It was hard for Light. I could tell from the tension in his entire body. He was always angered when hearing about any neglected child, any abused person... But they were always people he didn't know. The boys - the boys he _knew_. He Light may not have met or spoken to them, not _yet_ , but he _knew_ the boys.

"For the first couple of months, Matt wouldn't go anywhere near anyone that wasn't Watari, Mello or myself..." I smiled. "He was very unsure, not used to being around a lot of people. As soon as it hit month three, he was running around and talking to everyone he saw."

That helped.

I watched as Light relaxed slightly, laughing along lightly. He placed his cup down on the coffee table, brining his arm up so he could rest his elbow on his knee, his chin in his hand.

"Matt still tries to downplay it, though. He's constantly tell us to stop worrying about him, that what he went through was nothing." I sighed. "He forgets that, just because it wasn't the same exact thing someone else went through, it was still a horrible thing for _him_. Especially at that age. We still have to remind him of that..."

I felt Light squeeze the hand that I still had placed on his. He, of all people other than Watari, knew just how much I cared for my boys. Those boys had been the only ones that kept me going for a _long_ time.

The three of them reconnected me with the world.

Light knew what they meant to me.

"So Near was the last?" Light asked.

"Yes. And the youngest." I said, staring down at the sofa cushions. "He had it the hardest.

Sighing I began my recount:

"Watari brought Near to the house a few months after Matt..."

* * *

_**Monday, July 9th 2007** _

_It was a miserable summer day. Rain was pelting the road outside, the sky was a dark grey... It was a typical, English summer._

_Mail had settled in the house, able to just go up to anyone and speak to them... He was still learning how to interact with others, especially those his own age, same as Mihael, but he was doing better than fine. Mail was the reason Mihael had managed to speak to some of the others in the house, making acquaintances._

_It was strange, but I felt proud._

_Why did I feel proud? I didn't understand why I felt like that. I had known Mihael for seven months, Mail for four - was that enough time to create such a bond with two small children? Watari kept telling me that, one day, it would click; one day I would understand what this connection was. He just smiled, a knowing glint in his eyes._

_Was it that obvious? Was the reason so obvious?_

_Sighing, I raised my right hand, biting the edge of my thumb. I didn't like not knowing. Not knowing meant I was put at a disadvantage. It meant I was a step behind, instead of a step ahead._

_"What's wrong, L?" Mail giggled, jumping onto the sofa next to me, his arms wrapping around my neck._

_"Yeah, you look all sad." Mihael chimed, copying Mail's actions on my other side._

_"What do you mean?" I frowned. "I am fine."_

_I watched as the boys leaned around to peer at each other, giving the other a questioning look._

_"Well, that's a lie." Mihael sighed. "We know your sad."_

_"Is it because Wammy isn't back yet?" Mail asked._

_Watari was, yet again, out to bring back another child. He had left early in the morning, running through the house as if he was on fire..._

_It was a bad one._

_I had never seen Watari in such a state before. I had never seen him so fearful before... He had left without a word, slamming open every door he went through. The entire house was awake before he had even left, all the children hiding along the stairs as they watched Watari._

_We all watched as he charged his way around, barking into his mobile phone, yelling for people to '_ get there already! _'_

_No one had seen Watari like that before._

_I couldn't even imagine what was going on. I didn't_ want _to imagine what was going on. I just hoped that Watari had gotten there in time..._

**(Small time skip)**

_The two boys ended up, somehow, getting me to play a game with them. What game did they want to play?_

_Detective._

_They loved it, they loved the idea behind it. They loved being able to put the bad guys away. It pleased me that_ that _was the path they had chosen, instead of spiralling out of control and following in the footsteps of those that did them wrong._

 _It was a game that they always seemed to get me to play. I would let them use empty case files, the two boys placing paper with different coloured squiggles inside them. I would set up '_ crime scenes _'_ _in one of their rooms or, if possible, the living room. I would create characters for their victims and suspects. I would set up little clues for them, leading them to who they had been looking for._

_They got it right every time._

_Yes, it would take them a while, sometimes a couple of hours. But they would get it right in the end._

_It made me think that, maybe, one or both of the boys could take over from me, if that time ever came. I had never thought that before. I had never thought someone could take my place in the future. I never thought I'd find anyone close to me._

_These two boys proved me wrong._

"It was the baker! It was the baker!"

_Yes, with some training, they could do great things._

**(Small time skip)**

_The sun was starting to set by the time Watari made an appearance. I only heard one set of footsteps walking in, only_ his _footsteps. I felt everything inside me crumble apart. I knew how hard it was for Watari. He had told me about children before I was even created. I knew how much it destroyed him when-_

_Crying._

_Screaming._

_Pure_ terror _._

_It wasn't the same as when Mihael first came to the house. It wasn't the same kind of sound. This was younger. Far younger. The kind of sound you expected to come from a distressed baby._

_I couldn't remember a time I had moved so fast to get to that doorway._

_I heard the boys following behind me; I heard the two whispering, worried. I saw some of the adults, some of the other kids, appearing on the stairs or in the hall. I saw them all just standing there staring._

_Whipping my head to the side, I found an exhausted Watari, trying to calm down a small boy. His white hair was filthy, his grey eyes bloodshot. His clothes - dirty pyjamas - were a little too big for him, drowning him completely in fabric._

_The boy couldn't be older than three, no younger than two._

_The boy struggled against my guardian, everything just seeming to distress him more. I couldn't blame him._

_What made it worse? Andrew Harrison, the person_ everyone _hated, decided to get involved. He practically grabbed the young boy from Watari, holding the kid in front of his face, glaring. He yelled over the boy's crying, only managing to scare the poor kid even more._

_That was when I had to step in._

_I stormed right up to Harrison, carefully taking to boy from his alarmingly tight grip. The moment he tried to protest, my foot collided with his chest, sending the obnoxious man into the wall behind him._

_I huddled the young child close; one arm keeping him up, whilst my other moved so my hand could rest on the back of his head. He was still crying, of course he was, it just didn't sound as distressed as before. His small hands fisted in the fabric of my shirt, as he buried his face in the juncture of my neck._

_"No one touches the boy." I growled out, keeping my eyes trained on Harrison, who was now surrounded by other staff members. "Or you will have to deal with me."_

**(Small time skip)**

_Mihael, Mail and I sat quietly in the living room with the child, who's name, I had learned, was Nathan._

_Nathan was still sniffling, his thumb in his mouth as he shuffled as close to me as he could. I had wrapped him in one of the blankets we had in the room, a small and empty plastic cup of hot chocolate sitting on the coffee table._

_Mihael and Mail kept glancing at the boy, worriedly. I thought, maybe, on some level, they had some idea of what had happened to Nathan. Or, at least, knew it was something bad._

_Everyone was avoiding the room. They seemed to be taking my threat seriously, just as they should. Why should they be allowed to terrify a little kid, even_ if _they didn't mean it? No. No one was going to do that to Nathan. No one was going to do anything to any of the three boys. I didn't care if I had become their keeper, I would make sure no one hurt them. That was my decision._

_I wrapped the arm that wasn't around Nathan around Mihael and Mail. The two of them pulled themselves closer to my side, careful not to move to fast and scare Nathan._

_I held the three boys tight to me, careful not to hurt them with the hold._

_When it was time for the boys to go to bed, Mihael and Mail took care of themselves, after hugging me and saying goodnight to Nathan. I carried the boy into the room on the other side of Mihael's._

_I placed the boy on the bed, pulling the duvet over him. He already looked so exhausted._

_"If you need me, I'm in the room opposite this one." I told him, gently. "Or I'll be downstairs. Mihael is in the room next to you, Mail in the room on the other side of his. Alright?"_

_Nathan nodded, twirling a lock of hair around his right index finger. That was all he could do before his eyes slid closed._

**(Small time skip)**

_Meeting Watari in his office, I noticed how the man had already changed into his night clothes. Not that I blamed him._

_His knuckles were bruised._

_There was still a trace of dried blood in his hair._

_Broken glasses lay in the bin next to his desk._

_He had a black eye._

_It wasn't often Watari fought against someone. Only when the situation called for it, when there was no other option, did he fight. I could feel my heart pounding before either of us had done anything._

_Instead of sitting down, I walked straight over to my father figure, coming up to him and hugged him. At that moment, before he said anything, that was what bother of us needed. We both needed that hug, just Watari more than me, at that moment._

_Instead of sitting at his desk, Watari and I moved over to the small sofa he had. He was still hugging me, almost unwilling to let go. I didn't mind._

_"Nathan suffered a lot. Much like Mihael, he was beaten. Verbally abused, mentally and emotionally as well." Watari told me. "I wanted to get him out before anything more happened."_

_I nodded._

_"His parents would buy him things - toys and games - to buy his silence. Nathan would believe, for a short time, that he was loved. Then they would hurt him again." Watari sighed. "I had someone watching the house. I thought we would be able to get Nathan out without any hassle today... Then I had the call saying Nathan's father had some..._ friends _at his house."_

_I didn't like where the story was going._

_"Getting to the house, I didn't stay downstairs long enough to see what was going on. I left those I took with me to deal with everyone down there. I went straight to Nathan's room to get him." Watari coughed. "A friend of Nathan's father was in the room when I went in. I found the man trying to_ undress _the boy. So, obviously, I took matters into my own hands. I_ may _have hit him more than deemed necessary."_

_Hugging Watari closer, I felt my jaw lock._

_"Please tell me they've all been dealt with." I muttered, feeling the burn in my throat._

_"They have. Of course they have." Watari whispered. "None of them will be free anytime soon."_


	5. L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. This is an AU - Light was never Kira, but still helped during the investigation; obviously, Light and L did not die; the Kira case took 1 year to clear up, not (about) 7; set in 2016. I apologise for OOCness, but it IS an AU ;)
> 
> There will be a bit of a wait after this - I'm at university

** L **

"Much like Mello, Near had and still has nightmares. He suffered a lot, so of course he does, even if he can't remember much of what happened." I told Light. "It took him a while to settle; it took him a while to be alright around Mello and Matt. But he's improving every day."

It took longer to get Near's story told. I had to stop many a time to let Light get his emotions out. In the end, the only way I could finish telling Light, was to lean back against the arm of the sofa, the eighteen year old laying against my chest, my arms wrapped tight around him.

To be honest, it was a little easier to tell him that way.

"I still have the boys calling me in the middle of the night. When they were younger, when I still lived at the house, they would always come to find me... Sometimes they would sit with me, if I was working on a case, and they would fall asleep half-on-half-next-to me." I smiled, rubbing a hand along Light's arm. "Other times, when I had nothing to do, I would take them back to their room, or mine if they didn't want to go in there, and I'd lie down with them until the morning. Once, during a thunderstorm, only a year after Near came to the house, I had all three of them bundled in my bed with me, because the loud noises scared them."

In truth, I missed that. I missed being with my boys. I missed being able to see them; I missed being able to hug them; I missed being able to be there for them, like I used to be. I just missed them.

Technically, I could ' _adopt_ ' them. I could do that and bring them to Japan. I wanted to, don't get me wrong... But I would have to uproot them. I would have to take them away from the only home they knew. I would have to take them away from the people they knew, whether they liked them or not. It would put them in danger, whenever I took on a case...

I promised myself that no one was going to do _anything_ to any of my boys. I promised myself that I would never put my boys in danger.

I would take my boys in if they decided they wanted to come live with me, of course I would. But I would not do that to them myself.

* * *

Light and I lay there in silence for a few minutes. We both need to take a little time to deal with it all.

Light needed time to digest it all.

"Did you ever understand?" Light whispered after a while. "Why you felt such a connection with them, I mean?"

"Yes, I did." I nodded.

"And?"

"They reminded me of me, when I was a lot younger. Well, at first anyway. After I started to get to know them, started to bond with them, they became _my boys_. That's what people would call them. _L's Boys_. Roger used to say I was like a big brother to them... The boys always told me I was more than a brother; I was to them what Watari had become for me - a father figure."

I felt Light smile against my chest. I could feel the tension start to drain away. I could feel the any and all negative emotions start to drain out of him. In a way, I was happy about that.

On the other hand? Well, I knew what his next question would be, and I didn't know how he'd react. Honestly, I didn't really want him to ask. I wanted him to just forget about it and let it slide, but I knew that wouldn't happen. He would be curious and he would want to know... He deserved to know and I would tell him.

But that didn't mean I wanted him to ask.

"Do you ever wish you were back in England?" Light asked, curiously, lifting his head slightly to look at me.

"Yes and no." I sighed. "Yes, because of my boys. But no, because of you."

"So you want to have your cake and eat it too?"

"Cake? Where?"

* * *

An hour.

That was how long it took.

An hour and then it was out in the open.

"What's your story?" Light asked, the fingers of his right hand casually twirling in my hair.

Even though I expected it to come, it still made me freeze up. My entire body went ridged as the memories flashed through my mind. They were always the reason why, when I could, I would never allow myself to fall asleep. The memories became nightmares. Nightmares meant waking up in a cold sweat, screaming.

Nightmares meant another panic attack, something I hadn't experience in a _long_ time.

I could tell Light knew. I could tell he had felt me tense. I knew he could feel that I had stopped breathing. I knew he was about to take his question back, saying that I didn't have to tell him anything I wasn't comfortable with. Just like he always did.

I placed my hand over his mouth before he would say anything.

"My mother loved me. She was an amazing woman; a sweet person. My father was not. He hated us, he was always drunk, he always hurt us and allowed others to do the same. " I rushed, taking a deep breath. "My mother would always be beaten; she would be rapped, least, once a week by my father or one of his friends. She killed herself in nineteen ninety three, when I was two."

I watched Light's eyes widen. I watched some colour drain out of his face.

I wished that was the worst from this story...

"I became the outlet for any and all aggression and, sometimes, my injuries would get so bad that I could be put in the hospital. In nineteen ninety seven, when I was six, my father was passed out drunk on the sofa whilst a friend of his, who was also drunk, was still awake." I told him. "This man found me in ' _my room_ ', which was a small cupboard, nothing in it, and he tried to do to me what they had all once done to my mother. I was...terrified, to say the least, but I fought back. I managed to hit him hard enough to make him let go of my arm, and I ran out of the house and into the rain as fast as I could."

I watched as Light's eyebrows furrowed, watched as his eyes became slightly teary.

I wished I could say that was the end.

"I didn't know Watari was on his way to get me. He got to the house, only to find my father passed out and another man in pain, and I was nowhere to be seen. They were both lucky the police turned up, otherwise they would have been dead before they were arrested. As soon as they were in police custody, that was when Watari ran out to try and find me." I continued. "I was living on the streets for two years. I slept in doorways and alleys; I had to fight off more people like my father and his friend; I dug through bins for when I needed food and water. It was on my eighth birthday, in nineteen ninety nine, yet another rainy day, that Watari found me, hiding in an old, cardboard box."

I couldn't look at Light anymore.

I just stared up at the ceiling, my eyes shut tight.

"I already knew Watari... Seeing him, seeing the friendly face of someone I knew would help me, I couldn't stop crying; I practically launched myself at him. He took me to the police station first, he gave me a change of clothes and something to eat and drink." I said. "He waited until I had calmed down and stop shaking until he took me to the orphanage. It was the first place I could actually call _home_."

* * *

Light didn't say anything after I had finished speaking.

We had both moved, sitting up again, just like we were when we first started talking, only with more distance between us - though that _was_ my doing, not Light's. I was back to my usual sitting position, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my forehead on my knees.

What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say? What could I possibly do or say to improve the situation? I didn't know. I had never been in this kind of situation before, so I wouldn't know.

I had never had to tell anyone before.

It was times like this that I wanted a case. At least then I could make an excuse and get away from the uncomfortable situation. But I couldn't do that - I had nothing to go to. I had nothing to do to take my mind off of _this_.

All I could do was sit there, regretting my decision.

I couldn't stop the flashes; pictures of moments before I was found. Images of my mother being dragged away from me, too weak to keep those men away from her; images of my mother laying in the bath, drowning in her own blood, her wrists slit; images of that drunken man trying to attack me; images of faceless people on the streets, some trying to take me, some trying to hurt me, some wanting to do worse.

Images of people I couldn't save, no matter how hard I tried.

The images kept me awake at night; the faces haunting my dreams.

* * *

Minutes?

Hours?

I couldn't tell how long we had been quiet for. Usually I would keep track, counting the seconds that went by - I could barely breathe, let alone concentrate my mind enough to focus on counting. That's when I knew I wasn't dealing with the situation well. If I couldn't pull myself together enough to _count_ , I knew something was wrong.

I just felt like a child again, losing track of the days; just staring into nothing, wishing I was somewhere else. Well, staring at my legs, should I say. And, for the first time in a long time, I wanted to cry.

I just felt lost.

I would have given anything for the phone to ring. I didn't care who it was, I just wanted someone to call my mobile so I could try and move out of this uncomfortable situation. Or even for Watari to come in. Watari always knew what to do, he always knew how to make things better. He always knew what to say...

That was when I felt arms wrap around my shoulders, a head resting on top of mine; my senses were invaded by the scent of Light's cologne.

I didn't expect that.

I moved on autopilot. Loosening slightly and letting go of the grip on my legs, only to enclose my own arms around the eighteen year old.

Maybe I was wrong about his reaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a bit of a wait after this - I'm at university
> 
> P.S. This is an AU - Light was never Kira, but still helped during the investigation; obviously, Light and L did not die; the Kira case took 1 year to clear up, not (about) 7; set in 2016. I apologise for OOCness, but it IS an AU ;)


	6. The Call

**L**

It had been a few months since I had revealed all to Light, the season changing to summer. He hadn't changed his attitude to me at all. He stayed exactly the same as he had been from the start, if only a little more touchy. Taking a closer look at this, I could come to the conclusion that, after hearing my story and how I had been treated as a child, he felt not only closer to me but also like he needed to make up for the lack of love.

But that was if I took a closer look at his behaviour.

Light was, yet again, with me in my own quarters, whilst Watari was out running some errands. We were spending another day inside, content with the four walls around us. It was nice, not having to deal with the throngs of people on the streets, getting caught up in the hustle and bustle. Inside, we had everything we needed - food, drinks, TV... That was all we needed, right?

Light was sitting on the floor, leaning his back against the sofa, writing something for homework in a notebook, resting on top of the coffee table. He was always so focused on getting all his work done as quickly as possible; always wanted to be the best. He pushed himself to the limits, stretched himself as thin as he could. I couldn't help thinking that, if Light had been born and raised in England, we could have met a lot sooner. His intelligence was what we looked for at the house.

Maybe I could have had a friend a lot sooner if that had been the case...

I flopped onto my back, on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. I was bored. There wasn't a lot for me to do until Light finished with his work. Usually, I would get some cake but, unfortunately, I had run out - one of the reasons Watari had decided to run some errands.

"He'll be back soon." Light chuckled. "What is it with you and sweet things?"

Turning my head to the side, I stared at the back of Light's head.

"I never had any until my first Christmas at Wammy's." I explained. "I had one taste and I was hooked. Haven't stopped eating it since."

It was the first time Light had stopped writing. The scratching of the pen stopped, his head lifting slightly as he looked at me over his shoulder. He still wasn't used to me telling him things like that; still wasn't used to me being so forward with details of my past. Honestly? Neither was I. It always shocked me when I revealed something else to him. I never knew _why_ I ended up doing so, I just knew I couldn't help telling him.

"Watari... Well, he became my Guardian from the start. I attached myself to him and him to me. As far as I'm concerned, he adopted me - he's my father. It's just not, technically, legal." I shrugged. "He's never been able to tell me no when it came to the sweets."

Leaning his head against the seat of the sofa, next to my hip, Light reached up to grab my hand, bringing it towards him until he could rest his cheek against the back of it. His skin always seemed to be so warm and soft, I could never quite understand how that was possible.

* * *

Light was still working by the time Watari came back.

Yes, he was on the last assignment, but that didn't make it any less boring. Cake only provided a small relief, unfortunately. Whilst it gave me something to do with myself, I just didn't like sitting in the silence.

For once, I actually wanted to talk.

Well, not for once.

Ever since I had met Light, I had wanted to talk more. That hadn't happened since I had first left England. I quite liked talking to Light. Besides Watari and the boys, he was the only one that could keep up a decent conversation; the only one that seemed to be able to keep up with my mind and its ways of working.

I didn't like not being able to talk to him.

It felt too much like I was alone again.

I didn't like being alone.

Sighing, I rested my chin on my knees, hands loosely encircling my calves. I just stared at the countless pages scattered over the table; watched as Light's pen scratched away at the paper in front of him.

I had always wondered what made him work so hard. What made him want to be the best. It was a great ambition to have, don't get me wrong, but surely it was stressful. Even if he didn't push himself as hard as he did, Light would still be top of his class; would still get all these amazing grades.

So why stress himself out all the more?

I didn't understand.

Was it a social thing?

Was it something to do with the aspect of the world I just couldn't grasp?

Out of the boys and I, Matt had always been the best with everything social. He could talk to people easily, when he wasn't being sarcastic; within minutes, he could befriend anyone; he could identify what was wrong with someone and knew how to fix it.

It was one of Matt's strong points, something he excelled in far more than Mello, Near as well as myself.

_I miss my boys..._

* * *

It was almost three in the afternoon when Light had finished his work. He let his pen drop onto the table, as he slumped back against the edge of the sofa, leaning his head back with his eyes closed. He stretched his arms out, yawning slightly.

"No more work until September." Light grinned. "Sounds good to me."

Smiling a little, I leant forward until my face was hovering over his. I stared down at his upside down face, seeing how relaxed he looked now he didn't have to worry about any of his work. It always seemed to happen - the stress was gone, his face smoothed out.

It made him look younger than he actually was.

Light kept his eyes closed, but I knew he knew I was watching him. There was this little twinge in his smile that gave it away.

Without really thinking about it, I reached out my right hand and gently ran my fingertips along his forehead and down his right cheek. I couldn't say why I did it only that, in the moment, it felt right. As Light opened his eyes, smile still in place, my fingers froze on his cheek.

"You should smile more." he told me, reaching up his left hand, touching his fingers to the corner of my mouth. "You look better when you smile."

"Not many things make me smile." I huffed.

"Then I'll have to figure out what does."

"They're all quite simple to work out."

Laughing slightly, Light moved until he was facing me, leaning lightly against the coffee table as he leant his arms on his knees.

In the sun, his hair looked almost red - a deep rusty colour that I couldn't help but stop and admire. There was just something about the colour that always seemed to capture my attention.

Or maybe it was just Light himself.

I couldn't say for sure.

"Would you ever go back to England?" Light asked me.

It had been a question he asked a lot, especially since I divulged parts of my past to him. For the life of me, I couldn't fathom why he kept asking such a question, particularly since he received the same answer from me time and time again.

"Yes and no." I sighed. "Yes, because of my boys. But no, because of you."

"If you could, would you bring the boys here?" Light hesitated.

"If it was what they wanted and they approached me about it, yes. I would never ask them myself."

"But why not?"

"I don't want to influence their answer and then they regret the choice."

* * *

It was, around, six that evening when I got the call.

Watari, Light and I were having dinner together, a plan that Light's parents knew about and were both fine with. The two were discussing a book Watari had suggested Light might like, when my mobile started to sound.

It was easy to identify who was calling. There was only one person I knew that would set _Assassin_ by the band _Muse_ as their personalised ring tone, on my phone. Even Watari and Light could tell, as I leaped from my chair and across the room, snatching the device.

I had it on speaker in seconds.

"Mello?" I smiled, placing the phone in the middle of the dinner table.

 _"L!"_ three voices yelled down the phone.

In the background I could hear many voices, more than there would be at the home. I thought that, possibly, they could have all gone into the town, but I never knew Matt to willingly get up before midday and, since Japan was nine hours ahead of England, it was only nine in the morning there.

"Well, this is quite a surprise." Watari chuckled, taking a sip of tea.

 _"Watari, you're there too!"_ Matt's delighted voice called down the speaker.

"Why, yes I am. As is Light Yagami."

Looking over to Light, I found him staring at the phone, not knowing what to do. He seemed even more startled after Watari had announced his presence, not knowing if he was allowed to be in on such a conversation.

 _"He is? Awesome! We've wanted to speak to you for ages!"_ Mello stated.

 _"We always seemed to call when you were at the University."_ Near explained. _"The time difference can be extremely irritating. Especially when Matt refuses to wake up early."_

 _"_ Hey _!"_ Matt protested.

Glancing to Watari, I found that, he too, couldn't help but grin at their antics. It had been so long since we had the pleasure of speaking to the boys, I think we both forgot just how they could be. Even Light was cracking a small smile.

"Well, it's nice to finally be able to speak to you." Light told them. "I've heard a lot about each of you."

 _"And we, you."_ Near agreed.

 _"It feels like we've known you for years, the way L goes on about you!"_ Mello called.

I watched as Light's face flushed slightly, smiling the entire time.

 _"Hey, guys, can we just tell them already?"_ Matt's voice sounded, hushed and almost far away.

"Tell us what?" I asked, frowning.

For a moment, there was silence.

Nothing came from the other end of the phone.

For a moment, I started to worry, wondering what had happened to make the three of them go so quiet.

I waited, glancing up at Watari as the smile slowly fell from his face, a hint of anxiety starting to colour his features.

I was just about to speak again, when they all yelled:

_"WE'RE COMING TO JAPAN!"_


	7. Safe

**Chapter 7**

** L **

To say I was shocked was an understatement.

The boys, _my_ boys, were coming to Japan. They were getting on a flight, in England, at midday. They would take an eleven hours and forth five minute flight to Japan. They would arrive at eight forty five in the morning, Japan time...

The three of them were taking the jet owned by Watari and the home. Before, it had only ever been used by Watari and I, to get us from case to case, wherever the next one would lead us. Since we could not keep it behind the house, it was stored at Heathrow Airport, where it was properly tended to before and after use.

Never did I think my boys would come to Japan.

I didn't know what to say.

I could barely move from the chair.

I never thought Rodger would allow the three of them to fly by themselves. He never let any of them go anywhere, outside of the home, by themselves. When I lived in England, he didn't have to worry so much - the boys went wherever I went, until I had a case... Whenever I left, the boys had to have an adult present when they left the house.

In some ways, I understood.

Even in England, I had enemies. Enemies that knew my face and a fake name, yet not who I really was. They knew where I lived, they knew about the boys. Many a time I had had threats aimed at me, a lot of them involving my boys. Many a time, I had almost been assaulted on the rare occasion I left the house by myself. If the boys went out, if they were seen by these people and I wasn't around, I could only imagine what would happen to them.

But Rodger was letting them fly to Japan, just them and the pilots.

No adult.

No supervision.

I had no idea how to react.

Now, don't take me the wrong way. I loved that I would be seeing my boys. I loved that I would be able to spend time with them. I loved that they and Light would be able to meet. It was nothing to do with me not wanting them in Japan with me, it was that I was worried.

I was worried that something would happen, that they would get hurt and I wouldn't be able to stop it.

It was my job to look after them. Ever since the day they came to the house, ever since I had met them, it had become my job. A job I had gladly accepted. I loved that job... But I was scared. Scared of failing.

I didn't want to fail at protecting my boys.

* * *

I didn't know what to do with myself.

I couldn't sit still.

I couldn't stay in the same room for more than five minutes at a time.

I had to keep moving, had to keep myself occupied. The minute I stopped, the minute I let myself think about what was going on, I would drive myself insane with worry. Worry that something would go wrong with the plane; worry that someone, anyone, would get to them first.

How was I supposed to keep calm when that was in my head?

On the outside, to most people, I suppose it would look as if I was just thinking. They would never be able to tell what was going on inside me. That was only because I had trained myself. I had taught myself how to keep my internal thoughts and feelings closed off to everyone else. It helped with my job, especially when I had to get myself involved in person, like I had to with the Kira Case.

Watari was the only one who could see through my act. Light was starting to, but Watari was the one who could tell every time. Not that that was a surprise. He practically raised me, he cared for me. He was the one to help me reach my goal of being a great detective. So of course Watari would be able to tell.

It was when I found myself in the living room again, around ten forty five that evening, I found Watari sitting on the sofa, two mugs of tea a piece of cheesecake resting on the coffee table.

"Sit with me." he said, a small smile on his face.

Biting the nail of my right thumb, I dragged my feet towards him. I sat down heavily next to Watari, curling up into a small ball. I didn't have to wait long until his arm was around my shoulders.

"Do you remember, when I first brought you to the house, how I wouldn't let you out of my sight?" Watari asked me.

"Yes." I muttered, curling my toes into the soft cushions of the sofa.

"Do you know why?"

I shook my head.

At that point, my abilities were _nothing_ like they were at this point in my life. I always thought it was because I hadn't been socialised properly, not knowing how to interact with children of any age. I thought it was because he didn't know what my reaction would be...

I never knew, for sure, what the reason was. Nor had I ever thought to ask.

"It was because I was _worried_ about you." he whispered. "Just like you're worried about the boys."

"But why?" I murmured softly.

"Because I never knew the extent to how you were affected by what happened. Because I never knew how you would cope. Because I never knew which path you would take, what with the start you had in life. Because, from the moment I met you, I _cared_ about you. It was only natural for me to worry about you, L."

Watari was one of the only people I knew _truly_ cared about me. Right from the beginning, he was the only one I believed cared. It was hard for me to start trust Roger, it was especially hard for me to trust the other adults in the house...

Watari was the one person, right from the beginning, that I knew I could trust. The one person I knew I didn't have to live in fear of.

"I think of you as my own son, that you know. I am constantly worried for you and I will always be, no matter how old you get." Watari explained. "It's the exact same with you and the boys. They've imprinted on you, in the same way you imprinted on me."

In some way, it made sense.

* * *

When I finally went into my room, for a time, I actually tried to sleep.

Not that it worked.

I hadn't expected to be able to sleep. It was rare that I could, even when not on a case. But, that night, it was even harder than usual. I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop thinking about my boys on the plane. My anxieties refused to let my mind rest.

That was how I found myself looking through pictures on my laptop.

The pictures I owned were of the boys, Watari, myself and, most recently, Light. I liked having pictures of the things that made me happy... I would look through them whenever I needed a pick me up, remembering what had happened in that specific moment. When I had a case, after the boys had come to the house, I had to look through the pictures, at least, once a day. It would make being away from the three of them a little easier to focus.

As I looked through the pictures, I came across one I hadn't seen in a while. It was a picture of the boys and me, on my eighteenth birthday. At that point, Mello was seven years old soon to be eight, Matt had turned seven that year, whilst Near had only recently turned six before that day. The picture had me sitting in Watari's office, on the sofa, with Mello clinging to my left arm, Near clinging to my right arm, and Matt standing on the sofa behind me, his arms around my neck. The four of us were just grinning...

_**FLASHBACK - Saturday, 31st October 2009** _

_Every year, on my birthday, I would spend my time with Watari. All day. That hadn't changed over the years. The only difference was that the boys had joined us. Throughout the, almost, three years they had been with us, they had made a massive impact on my life..._

_No longer was I alone during the day. I would actually venture out of my room, if Watari wasn't around, spending time with the boys. I would even take the three of them out to the town. The only time I left the house was when I was with Watari, when I absolutely had to. My time, when not working, was spent solely on the boys. All day, every day. I never thought, in my wildest imagination, that something like this would happen._

_As my birthday coincided with Halloween, the day was split between the two holidays. My birthday would be celebrated from the morning, until the children went Trick or Treating. After getting back to the house, I - and now the boys - would go to Watari's office, spending the rest of the evening there, with him. That's how it had happened for a decade._

_That evening, when back at the house from the boys going Trick or Treating with the other children, the boys and I followed Watari into his office. No one blinked an eye as we split off from the group, more than used to these turn of events. It was as much part of their routine as it was ours. Walking into Watari's office, I found that not only was there a pile of presents on his desk, but there was a rather large table of food._

_Every year Watari did this. Every year I expected him not to._

_It was still strange trying to get used to actually celebrating my birthday._

_"Don't just stand there, silly!" Matt grinned, grabbing my hand and dragging me further into the room. "Presents to open, food to eat - come on!"_

_Grinning slightly, I let myself be pulled towards the sofa. I was pushed down to sit on it, all three boys climbing on with me. Well, more like they climbed on me. They bundled on top of each other, all of them giggling and smiling... I always loved seeing the three of them happy. It was nice to know that they had thrived so much, since they had been brought to the house. Especially since Watari kept saying I had a sizeable part to play in the change in them._

_It was nice to know that people actually needed me._

_Even after the decade spent with Watari, even after the few years I had been with the boys, I couldn't really get my head around it. I just knew it made me feel good. I suppose it would make anyone feel good, to be honest. It would make them feel...well, necessary. I liked feeling something positive._

_The moment I managed to sit up, I had Matt leaning against my back, his arms around my neck. I had Mello on my left, his arms wrapped around mine. I had Near on my right, copying Mello on that side. I couldn't help laughing._

_That was when I saw the flash of a camera._

_**END OF FLASHBACK - BACK TO: July 2016** _

Looking at the picture on the screen, I just smiled. I missed my boys. I honestly, truly, missed my boys. They were my family. Even since the day I met them, they were all my family. Just like Watari was.

I loved that I was going to see my boys again.

I loved that I was going to be able to hug them again.

I loved that they would, finally, meet Light.

The last time I saw them, in person, was when I said goodbye to them, before I officially moved to Japan. There were tears. Too many tears for comfort. It ripped me apart to leave them behind, after being with them for so long.

I felt like I had abandoned them.

Now they were coming to Japan and there was a change they could get hurt. I was terrified. I knew it would be my fault if something happened to them. I knew I couldn't wrap them up in bubble wrap, but I wanted to keep them safe.

All I wanted was to keep them safe.


	8. Nervous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while, but I've been having a lot of issues with family, University, my anxiety, etc. It's kind of knocked me off of my writing. Trust me when I say I'm trying to write for my fics as fast as I can.

**Chapter 8**

** L **

It wasn't a shock that I didn't sleep that night. With my mind racing as fast as it was, it was to be expected, so I just stayed up looking at old pictures and watching video recordings of the boys and me. Stupid, sentimental, little things. At first, I couldn't understand why I bothered to keep them.

Suffice to say, I now knew.

How could I get rid of any memories I had of my boys? They were one of the only things that kept me sane when I was away from them. Though it was a double edged sword, I suppose. Whilst the pictures and videos kept me in the right mind, reminded me there were people I was making safer, they also hurt me. Knowing that I couldn't be with them at that moment, knowing I couldn't speak to them as often as I usually would, it hurt me. I couldn't win either way, but it was better than having nothing of them at all.

I didn't know what to do with myself. From, around, four o'clock that morning, I stood at the window in the living room. I just leant against the cool glass, staring down at the lamp light, watching the few cars on the roads drive by. The sun was starting to rise in the east, a mash of soft colours everywhere you looked. Light oranges and purples spreading across the vast sky, rolling over the city like a bead of blood running down your arm.

I had always loved watching the sunrise. It was proof, ever since I was young, that I had made it through another day, that I had survived to see the next. It was just a small thing I took pleasure in seeing, something I _had_ to see every morning.

It was pathetic. A grown man still relying on something as commonplace as a sunrise, to prove that he was still breathing.

It became a habit that I just couldn't break... Though, it only became that once Watari took me in. At first, I wasn't conscious of what I was doing, when I was still existing with the man that co-created me. I would wake up, if I even slept, pick my way out of the cupboard and peaked out of the curtains to see the day begin. When I started my life at the house, with Watari, I forced myself to stay awake, too scared to sleep. He would check on me every morning, since I didn't like the leave the room I had been given, and he noticed me looking out of my window before acknowledging him. He was the one that made it a conscious action, even watching the sunrise with me. It gave me peace back then, especially having someone I trusted with me.

Sighing, I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the cool glass, wrapping my arms around my torso. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop my habit, even if I wanted to. I was in too deep, I needed it too much.

Just as I needed my boys.

* * *

**Light**

I was used to waking up early, especially on weekdays. Before I met L, I would use the time to get ahead in my studies, cleaning up a bit or do some reading. However, over the past eleven months and eight days, I would go see L. Considering his insomnia, I rarely had to worry about going around so early and waking him up.

Mom and Dad didn't mind me spending a lot of time with L. Honestly, I think they were just happy that I had finally found someone I genuinely wanted to spend time with, outside of my family. Even though I was considered popular, surrounded by a large group during the academic year, I only considered a few of them friends. Even then, I wasn't all that close with them, not like I was with my family or L.

I took my time getting ready, enjoying the rush of the water from the shower, lazily getting dressed. It would be no good to rush, anyway. L was nervous, that much was obvious, so giving him time to calm himself down, by taking a little longer getting dressed, was probably a good path to take. Besides, I would still get to him early.

If I was being honest with myself, I was terrified. I was meeting three people that L considered family. The three people he would speak about and smile over. These three people, these three children, meant everything to him. I knew L would die before he saw anything bad happen to those boys. It was... _intimidating_ , to say the least. I mean, I was meeting his family! I had never cared before, it had never mattered to me. But I felt different towards L than I ever had towards any girl I had ever dated. Sure, there was an obvious difference - gender - but it was something _more_.

It made my nerves worse.

I paused for a moment, after I pulled my shirt over my head, taking a deep breath. It wouldn't do for me to start panicking. I just had to try and stay as calm as I possibly could... It was easier said than done. I honestly couldn't remember a time I had ever been so nervous!

The night before, my Mom had tried to gauge my feelings for this meeting. She and Dad, even Sayu, all knew just how dear the boys were to L. They knew they meant everything and more to him. They knew this, so Mom knew I could be feeling quite overwhelmed.

But I was a good actor.

Ever since I was a child, I could hide my emotions, my true thoughts and feelings. I could pretend to be alright when, inside, I felt as if I was screaming inside a soundproof box. I told Mom that I was fine, I told her I wasn't scared... I felt as if, around my family, I had to put on this front; I felt as if I had to act stronger than I sometimes felt.

I didn't know if my act would last the rest of the day.

* * *

**L**

There was a knock at my door around quarter to six that morning. I could tell who it was from the force and rhythm. Dragging myself away from the wall, I shuffled towards it, one hand in my pocket and the other swinging by my side. I wouldn't lie and say I didn't expect Light to turn up early, but I could say with a hundred per cent certainty that I never expected he would arrive as early as he had.

The hallway Light was standing in was only dimly lit, , the only light coming from the inside of my quarters and the light near the elevator. Light seemed to have forgone his usual attire, almost dressing down compared to what he usually did. Just a simple pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a thin jacket, plain and simple. He had his satchel on his shoulder, holding onto the strap loosely as he stood there.

Light looked up sharply as I opened the door, stopping his shifting from foot to foot. We didn't say anything as Light walked in. We never did. Not in the morning, anyway. Light hung his satchel and jacket on the hooks I had placed near the door, as I took a seat on the sofa. When Light joined me he moved right up against my side as he curled himself up, leaning his head onto my shoulder. It was our usual routine, one we had gotten used to over the months. Being comfortable enough with a person, enough to not have to talk with all the time, was a nice change since the Kira Case. Having to explain every action I made to everyone on the taskforce, especially when I was hardly comfortable with talking to people other than Watari and my boys, was difficult to say the least. I liked having those moments alone in the silence, because I knew I didn't have to force myself into conversing with everyone. With Light, I didn't have to do that either. He seemed to understand, seemed to need that silence himself, sometimes. The silence was comfortable with Light.

I could tell he was worrying. The way he was holding himself, the slight tension in his face and body, the way he played with the material of his jeans... Little things made it easy to tell how he was feeling. Watari had told me to expect it, had explained how Light might be. I was beyond grateful to him because, otherwise, I wouldn't have understood just what was wrong.

I didn't know what to say. Was there anything I _could_ say that would help? I had never been in such a situation myself, nor had I ever witnessed anyone in such a situation before. How could I know what to do or say if it hadn't happened to me? So I just sat there, my arm around his shoulders as he rested against me, both of us sitting in our silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while, but I've been having a lot of issues with family, University, my anxiety, etc. It's kind of knocked me off of my writing. Trust me when I say I'm trying to write for my fics as fast as I can.


	9. Vive la France

**Chapter 9**

** L **

It felt like time had deliberately slowed down. Impossible, I knew, but that's what it felt like. Light, after a short while, had gotten up to make himself a coffee, bringing back with him a mug of tea for me, as well a small bowl of strawberries. It was the one healthy thing he _knew_ I would eat, making sure that I ate a good handful…. Or five. Not that I minded. With Light, I found it quite sweet. He seemed to have this instinct to take care of people – making sure his Dad ate an acceptable lunch and dinner; making sure his Mum had some time to herself, instead of working so hard to look after them all; making sure his sister got all her homework finished and understood it all, as well as making it a point to know how she was dealing with everything, emotionally and mentally. It was a fascinating little titbit I had discovered over our time together, as friends and as romantically involved partners.

"I'll give _you this strawberry_ if _you_ keep it a secret, okay?" Light teased, handing me the bowl.

Light just laughed when I said nothing, only taking the bowl from his hands, leaning into my side. He always liked to bring up little things like that that I had said, whilst on the case. Always found a way to use it in a different context, finding a lot of humour in it. I never really could determine just _what_ he found so funny, they were just things I said. Things I meant. What was so funny about that? Then again, Mello and Matt were both the same, more Matt, however. Light and the two boys were quite alike in that way, as well as many more.

"I like strawberries." I shrugged. "They're sweet."

"Of course, _that's_ why you like them." Light chuckled.

"Well, yes. Did you know there is two hundred seeds on the average strawberry, and the Ancient Romans believed they had medicinal powers? Also, in France, they're believed to be an aphrodisiac, and are served to newlyweds at traditional wedding breakfasts in the form of a creamy sweet soup."

All Light did was stare at me, his gaze intrigued, not disturbed.

"Research even suggests that eating just eight strawberries a day can improve heart health, lower blood pressure, reduce inflammation, reduce the risk of cancers and even improve cognitive function." I added. "It was fairly interesting reading, when I first found the library at Wammy's."

"You are truly an amazing enigma." Light smiled, shaking his head slightly. "Just when I think I really know you, you pull out something like strawberry facts."

It was the first moment my mind was taken out of its anxious state.

* * *

Watari had left for the airport at eight that morning. The boys' flight wouldn't be getting in until eight forty-five, but Watari always liked to be early. Even with being able to bypass a lot of the usual airport hassle, it would still take up to two hours for Watari to get back with the boys.

The closer it got, the more agonizing the wait. I wished, in that moment, there was some sort of device that could skip life forward. Just a little bit. Just so I could skip the wait. I hadn't heard anything from the boys. No messages, no pictures. I had no idea how their flight was going. That was what made it worse. The not knowing. Not knowing if they were ok; not knowing what they were doing to take their mind off of the long flight…. Not knowing if Mello had remembered his pillow so he could sleep, because otherwise he would be up and thinking about the things that took him to his dark place; not knowing if Matt was scared, because he looked out of the window, remembering what it was like to be stuck at the top of a roller-coaster for three hours; not knowing if Near's mind was racing through all the statistics of dying whilst on a plane, panicking about all the possibilities. Not knowing if my boys were scared, when I wasn't there for them.

I couldn't stop checking my phone. I couldn't stop looking out of the window. It was ridiculous! Nothing I did would speed up time, but I just couldn't seem to stop. I couldn't stop pacing. I needed something to do, instead of just sitting still.

I didn't expect Light to grab me, pulling me back down onto the sofa.

To say I was surprised was putting it lightly. I staggered so much, I almost flipped over the back, the only thing stopping me being Light's grip. When I looked at him in question, all he gave me was a shrug.

"Tell me a story about you and the boys." Light said, quietly. "Something you all did together."

"Light –" I started.

"Come on, it beats you working yourself up. Besides, I want to hear some more."

It took a moment before I could relax into the sofa cushions. In hindsight, Light was right. It would take my mind off of the wait, taking up a bit of time. Sighing softly, I ran my hands down my face, leaning into Light's side. His hand was playing with my hair in an instant, running his hand through the dark mess gently.

"What would you like to hear?" I asked.

"Anything happy." was all Light said.

_**FLASHBACK – Monday, August 24** _ _**th** _ _**2009** _

_Mello, Matt and Near were special children, that much was obvious. Their intelligence was amazing, yes, but it was so much more than that. Whilst skittish around new people, as well as Mello's fiery temper, not to mention everything they had been through, the three of them were still very caring and sweet. It may not have been as noticeable to others as it was to Watari and me, but it was true._

_Over the years, I had become quite attached to the three of them. I found I rather liked having someone around all the time, spending the day with me. They were great companions, even with their young age, giving me something else to think about other than my cases. They made me smile, made me laugh._

_It had started to become a habit, when it came to the boys going to sleep, that I would read something to the three of them. They would all bundle into my room, Matt and Mello on either side of me, whilst Near sat on my lap, as I read to them from the latest book they had chosen. It was something I, and I believed the boys, had begun to look forward to. The books I read to them never stuck to one type. From Harry Potter to Dickens to Dracula and Frankenstein, whatever they wanted I read. Which was why, a few weeks before Near's birthday, I had just finished reading_ Les Misérables _by_ Victor Hugo _._

 _Near had loved the book so much he began acting as different characters throughout the day, pretending he was part of the Revolution. Near seemed to find it fun to barricade himself, Mello, Matt and myself into different rooms. All he would shout, whenever one of the adults would try to intervene, was '_ Vive la France! _'_

_It was rather amusing._

_So, when it came to Near's sixth birthday, on August 24_ _th_ _, Watari and I came up with the perfect present for him. The two of us took all three boys to London on Near's birthday, leaving early in the morning. The boys were practically bouncing in their seats, excitedly chattering in the back of the car. They tried, repeatedly, to guess what we were going to do in London. Some ideas were logical, others were so outlandish I couldn't help but laugh._

_The boys, pretty much, dragged Watari and I into every shop they wanted to go in. I couldn't even begin to imagine how long we spent in the Disney store. Not that I minded. Watching the boys jump around, having fun…. Well, it was more than nice. It was difficult for the three of them to pick something out from the shop, finding many different toys from many different Disney films that they loved. It was rather difficult to say no to them, so the boys were allowed them all. It wasn't as if there were_ loads _of them, anyway. Besides, it wasn't like the boys were treated any differently to the other children, considering the others had gone to Thorpe Park whilst the boys stayed home with me. Not to mention, again, that it was Near's birthday, as well as the fact Mello and Matt were his best and closest friends._

_The day consisted of shopping and taking pictures, stopping every now and then to rest and eat something. That evening, Watari and I took the boys to dinner. We allowed them to have whatever they wanted; three courses and fizzy drinks. It was the most I had seen any of them eat._

_Of course, Near's main gift, wasn't until after dinner._

_Watari and I walked the boys only a short distance away from the restaurant, barely taking us ten minutes. The entire way we were nagged, the three of them begging us to tell them where we could possibly be taking them after all that. I wish I had a camera as we rounded the last corner, the boys finally seeing where we were heading._

" _We're going to the theatre?!" Near squealed. "What're we seeing?!"_

" _What do you think?" I smiled._

_For a moment, Near was silent._

_For a moment, he just looked before gasping._

"VIVE LA FRANCE! _" he yelled._

**(Small time skip)**

_The entire ride home consisted of the boys singing every song in the musical, attempting to do every part, the soundtrack playing throughout the car – one of the few pieces of merchandise we bought the boys. I was surprised they hadn't crashed, considering it was far past midnight and we were almost home. I was sure no one would be seeing the boys until somewhere after midday._

_But I could do nothing but smile._

_I doubted James, a friend and colleague of Watari's, whom had been kind enough to drive us to and from London, minded the music. From the way he sang under his breath, he was as much a fan as Near was._

" _I believe you outdid yourself, my boy." Watari chuckled, quietly, leaning towards me so only I could hear._

" _You mean '_ we _'." I corrected._

" _No, most definitely_ you _."_

_Turning my head slightly, I looked towards my guardian. He had this knowing smile on his face, what he knew I wasn't sure of. If I was honest, he usually had that look when the boys were around._

" _It was your idea. You planned everything." Watari continued. "All I did was pull a few strings here and there."_

" _But, still, if not for your help –" I began._

" _You would have found your own way."_

_I wasn't sure how to respond._

**(Small time skip)**

_Putting the boys to bed was no hard task. They were practically asleep when we pulled up to the house, Roger and Watari helping me to carry the three of them inside. I made sure to say my goodnights to each boy, making sure they had everything they needed and that it was all in reach._

_Near was the last one I went to._

_The six-year-old was stubbornly going strong, not willing to let himself give in. For what reason, I was unsure. I sat on the edge of his bed, watching as he smiled drowsily at me, surrounded by his toys._

" _Today was the best." Near yawned, softly. "It was the best present ever."_

" _I'm glad you enjoyed it." I chuckled. "Now, go to sleep."_

" _Mmm-kay…. Thanks, L…."_

_I had never known anyone to fall asleep, that deeply, that quickly._

_**END OF FLASHBACK - BACK TO: Friday, July 22** _ _**nd** _ _**2016** _

"Everybody was sick of listening to the Les Misérables soundtrack by the next evening." I laughed. "I believe, in the end, the boys, Watari and I were the only ones that could stand it."

Light didn't say anything, just smiled as he drew patterns on the back of my hand.

"Seeing the three of them that happy…. It was something I never thought I'd have helped be responsible for." I added. "Then again, I never thought I'd let anyone like the boys, or _you_ , get that close to me."

I didn't have to explain. I knew Light remembered what I had divulged to him, about my past. Neither of us needed to bring it up again with our words. But he knew. From the way his muscles tightened ever so slightly, to the way his fingers stopped drawing patterns on my hand, in favour for holding it. We didn't need to say a thing.

"I'm glad you did." Light whispered.

I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear that or not. I wasn't sure if he had meant to say it out loud. Either way, I agreed.

Turning my head to look at Light, I couldn't help but become transfixed in the way the early morning light brightened him. His hair took on a reddish tint, his skin looking paler but not sickly. It sounded unrealistic, but he looked, almost, ethereal. In all positive meanings of the word, of course!

I was so busy watching Light, that I almost didn't hear the front door open.

**Author's Note:**

> P.S. This is an AU - Light was never Kira, but still helped during the investigation; obviously, Light and L did not die; the Kira case took 1 year to clear up, not (about) 7; set in 2016. I apologise for OOCness, but it IS an AU ;)
> 
> Please, please review XD
> 
> Thanks a lot XD


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